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Advice for divorced parents who live under the same roof

There is a phase in the divorce process that some call the limbo phase. It is the phase when a couple has decided to split but is still living under the same roof. Needless to say, it is an uneasy time. The tension may affect the children, before custody is determined.

There are things a couple can do to may help to prevent fights. First, the couple should create guidelines for interaction. This may feel awkward but it may reduce the negative feelings if the couple's expectations are clearly stated. If the couple is getting along, they may wish to co-parent. However, if the couple no longer gets along, it may be better to change course.

If co-parents feel uncomfortable with each other, they should divide the time spent with the kids. Creating a weekly schedule may be a good thing. They should be prepared for the unavoidable overlaps in schedules. It may also be better to wait to inform the children about the divorce until it is nearly finalized. If the limbo phase takes too long, it may be advisable to tell the kids that a divorce is being considered but the details are still being worked out. The couple should consider telling the children that the specifics will be disclosed soon.

During the divorce, the parents should set aside their personal grudges against each other and settle their child custody issues in an objective manner. When faced with child custody disputes, parents should consider a court trial as their last option. It is always better if parents can work out the custody arrangement themselves or through a mediator.

Source: Huffingtonpost.com, "Separated Under the Same Roof: Tips for Surviving The Limbo Phase," Kate Scharff, June 3, 2013

Joseph J. Porzenski
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