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Don't let an ex-spouse bully you into unfavorable situations

Divorces by their very nature are seldom ever free of disagreements, animosity and ill-feelings between both spouses. After all, if each side were able to work things out and stay happy together, they would not be getting divorced. For divorcing couples who don't children from the marriage, when the papers are signed and the divorce is official, it is possible to walk away without looking back to start your life over. But, if there are children from the marriage, you will inevitably need to maintain some relationship with your child or children's other parent, which means that you will still need to communicate and meet with the ex-spouse for child custody reasons, such as visitation rights.

Sometimes this may prove difficult, especially if one spouse is holding resentment and shows an unwillingness to work with you. It is important to understand that both sides still need to work together to see that the court's child custody decisions are met and enforced, regardless of what your ex-spouse may say or do to try to work around the court's decisions.

One way to help make sure this happens is to put the logistics and scheduling of child custody and visitation rights in writing. Verbal agreements are easier to violate and harder to prove if the situation goes back to court. If both sides have a clear understanding of expectations and the rules, there should be no confusion or disagreements.

It might be difficult, especially if your ex-spouse is acting unreasonably, but you may want to take the high road at times and try to show empathy and understanding for your ex-spouse's side of things. If you show some level of understanding, depending on the character of your spouse, you may be able to get them be behave in a more appropriate manner, which could be beneficial for all parties involved.

Source: Huffington Post, "5 Ways To Handle Your Hostile Ex," Virginia Gilbert, Feb. 7, 2017

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Joseph J. Porzenski
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